Second Best Is All I Will Know
by s1r1
Summary: You said move on, Where do I go; I guess second best, Is all I will know.


Disclaimer: I don't own OTH or anything affiliated to it nor do I own this song.

Song: Katy Perry – Thinking of You (though some words are changed to fit the storyline)

AN: I dedicate this story to my sis, Rachel and also my other oneshot 'Moments In A Kiss'. Also, Happy New Year!!!!!

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_Comparisons are easily done  
Once you've had a taste of perfection  
Like an apple hanging from a tree  
I picked the ripest one  
I still got the seed_

Everybody has always compared my relationship with Brooke and Peyton. Time and time again, people have commented that Peyton suits me more instead of Brooke. Nonetheless, both of them meant a lot to me. Though, during junior year I knew it was Brooke who had a hold on my heart. Granted I'm married to Peyton and we have a daughter, but Brooke still has a part of me I've never given to anyone else.

_You said move on  
Where do I go  
I guess second best  
Is all I will know_

When you said you didn't love me anymore, I was crushed. At first, I couldn't believe your feelings for me had faded but after hanging out with Peyton, I knew I had chosen her over you by spending every spare moment I had with her. The night we won the Championship game, it was you that I wanted to spend it with. However, after seeing you pushing me towards her, I realized that I cannot be with you unless I explored the feelings between Peyton and me. After all I have put you through; I guess I deserve to be with someone who is second best to you.

_Cause when I'm with her  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes _

Every time I'm with her, I imagine that it's you I'm with. When I get up, I picture you beside me. Your brunette locks fanning your face, your mesmerizing soulful eyes looking up at me and that infectious grin that brings out those two dimples I love so much. However, when I see her beside me, I'm disappointed to see yellow curls and limpid green eyes staring back at me.

When I see her there, I can't help but wish it was you that I had married and it is you who is the mother of my child. Do not get me wrong, I love Sawyer but I had always pictured having a kid that looks like you with my personality. That way, I would be able to have a piece of you with me always.

_You're like an Indian summer  
In the middle of winter  
Like a hard candy  
With a surprise center  
How do I get better  
Once I've had the best  
You said there's  
Tons of fish in the water  
So the waters I will test_

I never thought I would fall for you. When I first knew you, I heard that you were nothing more than a party girl. However, after getting to know you, I recognize that there was more to Brooke Davis that one sees. You were unlike anyone I have ever known. You were fun and cheery and yet, at the same time you were vulnerable and insecure. I love learning the different sides of you and I'm forever grateful that you showed me the real you.

I was devastated when you pushed me towards Peyton. Granted, I understand you did it to help me. By exploring a relationship with Peyton, it removed any doubts that you and I were not meant to be as it showed me how much you were truly the one for me. Although we aren't together, I have never stopped loving you. People say that _The Unkindness of Ravens_ and _The Comet_ are about my love for Peyton and they are wrong.

_Unkindness_ is about my relationship with both of you and the loss I felt over Keith while _The Comet_ is actually my description of how you came into my life. I'm sorry for being such a coward that I cannot blurt out the truth. The honest truth is Peyton doesn't mean that much to me the way you do. I made my bed when I chose her and now I've no choice but to lie in it.

_She kissed my lips  
I taste your mouth  
She pulled me in  
I was disgusted with myself _

Whenever I'm with her, I'm thinking of you. When we kiss, I picture you instead. At times it seems we're passionate for each other but that's far from the truth as all that fills my head is you and no else. I'm sorry that I fell into her plans. I knew in senior year she had feelings for me but I brushed it aside hoping it would never be revealed. How wrong was I when it blew up in my face and I loss you in the process.

The point is I see myself as a hero. Thus, I'm a sucker for saving people. Peyton knows this and she puts herself in these kinds of situations since she knows I will always save her. Therefore, no matter how hard I try to pull away, she has the ability to suck me right back in.

_Cause when I'm with her  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into..._

_You're the best  
And yes I do regret  
How I could let myself  
Let you go  
Now the lesson's learned  
I touched it I was burned  
Oh I think you should know_

Everyone seems to think that you were second best compared to her and they are wrong. You've always been the first choice. But, I had screwed it up with you too many times that I knew I didn't deserve another chance. I wanted so badly to call you at the airport but I was scared that you would reject my advances. Guess I'm a wimp. For so long, Ive acted that you were second best when in actuality you aren't.

Every day I think about what would have happened if I was honest with you from the beginning, starting with the kiss in the library. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't been so stupid. How could I let you go after getting you back in senior year? I promised myself I would not hurt you when we got back together and yet I did it again.

_Cause when I'm with her  
I am thinking of you  
Thinking of you  
What you would do if  
You were the one  
Who was spending the night  
Oh I wish that I  
Was looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Looking into your eyes  
Oh won't you walk through  
And bust in the door  
And take me away  
Oh no more mistakes  
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay..._

When I see you with him, I get jealous. He has the luxury of being with you when I've none. Sometimes, I wish you would realize that I've never stopped loving you and you would come and declare your love for me. You know the last time we said I love you, I meant it as more than a friend. I prayed that you would hear it that way but instead you replied the same, like you meant it as a friend too.

I long to have you in my arms like before. Nowadays, you look at him the way you use to do with me and it hurts me to see you looking at him that way. People say that you were second best for me. But, that is clearly far from the truth. It is I who settle for second best and in the process I became second best to him.

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Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated :)


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